Dogs Unite

Today, I come to you, my loyal readers, to announce my candidacy for the next President of the United States. I realize that the humans just elected a new president last night, but I feel that us Dogs are underrepresented in the new White House Administration. The new guy doesn't even HAVE a pet. He did promise his kids they could get a dog when he won, but we all know politicians rarely keep their promises. Therefore, effective immediately I am working to mobilize dogs and dog owners to make sure that in 2012 the dogs of the world have true representation. I am open to your contributions regarding policy, both domestic and foreign, economic issues, security and general governing. You, the dog, can contact me directly by leaving a comment on my blog (which you are reading right now!). With your help, we can change the world into a more Dog Friendly place for all of us!

Jaxson Murphy's Campaign Platform:

Naptime should be mandatory, with minimum time periods. No maximums will be enforced. Humans who interrupt naptime will be punished with yard clean up duty.

A wide variety of HOT meals will be served 6 times daily. Menus will be posted one week in advance and are subject to change based on YOUR personal preferences.

Visits to the dog park will occur a minimum of 3 times a week, but NO dog will be forced to socialize. Owners will be required to pick up after us or face $10 million fines.

I will work with manufacturers to improve techniques to produce more non-destructive plush toys. Squeakers will be mandatory in all toys and manufacturers will be rewarded with tax credits if they put extra squeakers in.

Treats will be placed in automatic feeders so dogs can access them at their leisure. I will encourage owners to place multi-treat feeders in their homes, and give businesses economic rewards for doing the same in public places.

All stores, workplaces and restaurants will be deemed pet-friendly effective immediately. Eating establishments shall create dog-friendly menus. Kids menus can be used as a template.

I will work with Congress to enact legislation to allow all dogs onto furniture and beds. The softness hierarchy will become a universal standard to ensure comfort across all dogs and all states.

Read my lips....NO MORE VET VISITS